Posted in Alcoholism, anxiety, bipolar, eating disorder, therapy, Uncategorized

New new new

Yesterday I had my first video session with my new therapist. It went ok. Well, actually it felt very awkward to me. Online therapy is so freeing. It’s almost like blogging. I can put whatever I want to out there, it’s both more personal and more anonymous than face to face (I realize that’s contradictory, but I’m sure you know what I mean). In person feels, well more vulnerable. 

I had already googled my new therapist so I knew what she looked like, but putting a voice and mannerisms with that was different. I’ve only ever seen my therapist before her. I couldn’t help but notice all of the differences. I’m not judging whether that is bad or good, just noting that its different.

We talked a bit about feelings. It started with a conversation about how I feel about having my last session with my other therapist. I rationalized all the reasons that it was good and then she told me “you are allowed to have feelings”. I know this , but I’m used to rationalizing them before I allow myself to feel them. 

We got into self perception a bit and I shared that I still feel defective for having a mental illness. I explained my childhood and why I would feel that way and she said “I hear you, but how do you feel about your daughter having a mental illness”. I told her that I felt guilty, like it’s my fault that my daughter has to deal with this. She said “that’s not what I mean, do you think less of her”. I said of course not. She asked why I think less of myself then. That’s definitely a different way of looking at it. 

Anyway I will continue with the text therapy for now and the monthly video sessions and see how that goes. 

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2 thoughts on “New new new

    1. It is interesting. I’ve been doing the messaging therapy for two months now and it’s provided a lot of support during all the transitions I’ve been going through. It was kind of neat to take it to the next stage and see and talk to the person that’s been counseling me.

      Liked by 1 person

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