Posted in Alcoholism, anxiety, bipolar, eating disorder, therapy, Uncategorized

What constitutes relapse

I purged today. It’s the first time in about four months. I have been restricting since Saturday and yesterday I went to the gym twice and went for a walk. I didn’t eat anything yesterday and then I went out for a beer with Hubby at the end of the night. When I got home I took my sleeping pills and laid down but I was really hungry. I had a mini binge. It wasn’t an excessive amount of food. It was a large bowl of cereal and a bowl of chips. Maybe 700 calories. But I felt bad for eating it. This happens sometimes. Like if I take my sleeping pills but don’t lay down and fall asleep right away , I do things in a half asleep state. Which isn’t a big problem because 99% of the time I get it right. Anyway today I’m tired / hyper and I went to school without eating and when I came home I made grilled cheese and chips for the kids and I had some too. Then I just felt so overwhelmingly disgusted with myself that I went and threw them up.

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